Regional planning director passes unscheduled compliance review despite three-hour nap
Gwendolyn Mercer, director of the Greater Ferndale Regional Planning Commission, successfully completed a surprise audit by the State Planning Oversight Board on Tuesday, notwithstanding an extended period of dormancy during the afternoon session. Inspectors found all documentation in order, though several files bore faint impressions consistent with kneading.
The State Planning Oversight Board concluded a daylong surprise audit of the Greater Ferndale Regional Planning Commission on Tuesday, issuing a provisional compliance certificate to Director Gwendolyn Mercer despite what lead inspector Martin Trask described as 'an unconventional approach to the afternoon review period'. Ms Mercer, who has overseen regional land-use policy since 2019, spent the hours between 1:45 and 4:20 p.m. asleep in a patch of sunlight on the east windowsill of the main conference room, a position from which she declined to be moved.
The audit, which examined five years of zoning variance decisions and infrastructure allocation records, had been scheduled to include a detailed oral briefing on the Riverside Corridor Master Plan. When inspectors arrived at the designated time, Ms Mercer was discovered to have relocated to the interior of an empty banker's box labelled 'Archive—Setback Violations 2018'. 'We proceeded with the documentary review,' Mr Trask said in a written statement. 'The director remained available for consultation, though she did not exit the box until we opened a tin of anchovies intended for the staff breakroom.'
Deputy Director for Compliance Robert Chennault, who fielded procedural questions in Ms Mercer's stead, noted that all twenty-three development permits issued in the prior quarter had been properly stamped, though sixteen bore pawprint authentication rather than a standard signature. 'The marking is consistent with Commission protocol,' Mr Chennault said. 'Director Mercer's approval process has always been thorough, if occasionally conducted from atop the filing cabinet.' Inspectors confirmed that no substantive errors were detected in permit documentation, and that a single instance of shed fur embedded in the adhesive of a land-transfer deed did not compromise the document's legal standing.
The Oversight Board's preliminary finding, released late Tuesday, grants the Commission continued autonomy over municipal zoning appeals, subject to a follow-up desktop audit in six months. Ms Mercer did not issue a statement, but was observed at day's end sitting in the empty evidence binder with her eyes closed.
